Chocolatey Decisions

When do we make decisions, and how do we reach the goals we set for ourselves?

When we set a goal for ourselves, we’re making a ‘big’ decision. We have decided that we want to work towards an end target that will benefit us in some way. How we get there is not clearly defined in the goal setting stage. That decision is about the ultimate destination. 

The journey to that destination will be influenced by a series of micro decisions that will either contribute to your goal, or place blocks in your way. 

Goal Setting

It’s important to know what it is that you are wanting to achieve. You can’t start a journey and make the ‘right’ decisions, if you don’t know where you are trying to get to. 

That goal could be any number of things, but the thinking will remain the same. First, make the big decision, and then become aware of the different levels of conscious and unconscious decisions underneath it that will determine the ultimate outcome.

Think about the decision to eat more healthily. We already know what that should look like, to some extent. We know that there are some food types that we need to eat more of, to give our bodies the nutrition it needs. While at the same time, we need to cut out or reduce our consumption of other food types. 

Chocolate is a common stumbling block in the healthy eating journey, so let’s use it as an example.

Why are you eating that?

So, you made the decision to eat healthily. It’s important to you for a number of reasons, and you are determined to stick to it. 

Why then, have you just polished off an entire box of chocolates? You feel disgusted with yourself, and you honestly don’t know why you did it.

Pause and rewind

Let’s rewind to the moment you put that  first chocolate in your mouth...

Did you feel in control? 

Was it a conscious decision? 

Or did you only realise what you were doing halfway through the box?

It’s important to notice exactly when you made the decision to eat that entire box of chocolates. When did you decide to do something that you knew would hinder your bigger goal? 

To do this, we need to start from the beginning and examine the decisions you have made about yourself, and the beliefs you hold to be true.

When did you decide?

Was it the moment you placed the chocolates in the trolley at the supermarket? Are you someone who has made a decision that if it’s in the house, you can’t resist it? If so, in buying the chocolates, you had already decided to eat them. 

Perhaps you were feeling sad, and you hold a belief that junk food (or chocolate specifically) makes you feel better? 

Or maybe you felt hungry, and your belief that the chocolates provided a quicker and more convenient fix than cooking something healthy was enough for you to choose that route? Maybe, just maybe, you have decided that you are lazy, and cooking is too much like hard work?

Perhaps the decision was made unconsciously - you saw the chocolate, so you ate the chocolate. 

Sometimes we believe that we can’t stop at one, so by eating one, we’ve already decided to eat them all.

There are other, more personal beliefs and decisions that may have prompted you to take those chocolates out of the cupboard and put them in your mouth. Perhaps deep down you don’t believe you have the control or will power to follow through with the big decision of eating healthily? That means you had decided to eat the chocolates almost from the moment you made the big decision not to.

It could even be that you believe you don’t deserve to succeed, and so you are sabotaging yourself to prevent yourself from achieving your goal?

It’s important to examine your decisions to find the moment you make the choice. Notice what you are doing and what you are thinking before you eat the chocolates.

Reconsider the decisions you have already made

When you are able to notice when the decision was made, you will be able to pause at that moment and reconsider it in the light of the larger decisions you’ve made. You can put blocks in place to make you step back and consider if this is what you really want.

By working with an experienced NLP Master Practitioner, you can begin to unhook the various different levels of decisions that keep you locked in old patterns of unhelpful behaviour, and replace them with new beliefs.